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Musings from the Mess's avatar

Appreciate how you’ve grounded this conversation in both philosophy and psychology. I share your view that, objective or not, values are unavoidable, and the real work is in becoming conscious of them and deciding which ones deserve to guide us.

I’ve come to see values as tools we choose and refine over time, shaped by both our nature and environment, but ultimately curated by our agency. The clarity that comes from aligning actions, habits, and choices with consciously chosen values has been transformative for me, especially in periods of transition.

I’ve explored some of these intersections between belief, agency, and lived practice in my writing, for anyone curious. But mostly, I want to say: you’ve put into words why this work matters so much.

David Garrett's avatar

Great read as always, Paul. However, it left me wondering: how would you factor in the attention-hijacking capacity of our current technology (e.g. social media, games, advertising…)?

Even if we assume that, ultimately, it’s down to us to let negative values in or not, it doesn’t seem fair to blame the individual for not being able to resist the barrage of psychological tricks, dark patterns, etc. that are constantly thrown at us?

For instance, I’ve heard countless friends and acquaintances use a variation of this phrase: “I went into <any social media platform> and before I realized it two hours had passed.” It seems like they didn’t value that time that they spent there (even if they value the platforms themselves), and yet they recurrently do it. How can you value something that makes you do something you don’t find valuable? Or maybe they secretly and/or subconsciously do?

I know that’s a rabbit hole, but my question essentially is if it’s a matter of having let negative values enter our lives, or having our good values conditioned or taken hostage in our current society, at least sometimes.

And then… is it possible to hold on to your values even if you momentarily drop them? If I am aware of how I spend my money and my time, and try to change that to better align with my values but sometimes still fall into old patterns, are those conflicting values? And, more importantly, can they coexist?

If I value knowledge (which is why I read you and tens of other people that post things I find valuable), but at the end of the day feel depleted and just want to watch an episode of a TV series, I guess we could say that I also value something else (entertainment, rest?), but it still seems to go against my knowledge value, because I could be putting that time towards more edifying activities.

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